True Tori....True Confessions

Have you ever walked into a bakery and seen the most amazing cookie. It's just sitting there looking delicious and heck, you're only human, why not? The temptation is just too much ---- it's chocolate chip, it looks SO gooood.

Then you sit down and sink you teeth into it.......bllllkkkkk!


It's dry. A bit tasteless.

But you bought it.....and instead of just hurling it into the trash or complaining to the cookie people, you just eat it.

That's kind of how last nights episode was of True Tori --- True Confessions. Yes, that's right, this episode got it's own tag line.

Tori sat on her perfect bed, cross legged, chatting about what she was thinking as the therapy sessions, etc are played back. I know this is supposed to come off like we're intimately chatting together and she's letting us in on her deepest feelings, but I can't take my eyes off her hair. It's not only been completely flat ironed out, but there's some sort of shellac going on. Her side bangs are literally not moving. Like a Fisher Price People person.

I mean, these are the things I'm thinking about because the show is such a cop out.

Tori dives right into the therapy session where Dean tells her one of the reasons he went for the affair was because they hadn't been intimate the night before he left for his job. (Remember he has this affair up in Canada) And she steam rolls him with a "What? The weekend before, we DID things I've never done before."

It's titillating isn't it ?? I mean, what things? Every dirty, naughty thought just zooms into my head.

So, now Tori is discussing this with us again b/c apparently anyone who watched the show came away with the same reaction ---- EEEEWWWWW....WHAT?!! TELL US?! WHAT?

The producers of the show give us a little sneak peek of more of the therapy session that wasn't originally televised ---- as Tori goes on to elaborate on how she KNOWS couples that have been married for seven years and have four kids are NOT doing what she was doing.

Then Tori's voice over comes on with ---- "there's been a lot of speculation on this. But a lady never tells."

Oh for God Sakes Tori ---- just let it out of the bag! You ain't no lady now honey!! Not after doing those seedy, nasty acts with her addicted husband. eeeewwwwww!!!

Another great line was when in the midst of the most real breakdown Tori and Dean have on this show --- (which was sad and I can't believe anyone would ever want that taped!) --- she's laying into him about how he's ruined everything and she brings up the old quote he used to whisper to her, "why have hamburger out, when you can have filet at home." (it's a quote from an old movie). Oh Dean. Ohhhhh Dean. It's just too awful.

But what else would ease Tori's heart than a new tatoo. (What the hell is it with these people? I thought they were hard up with money? And do they get these things are permanent?) She gets the names of her children and an arrow inked onto her wrist. Sure. Why not? What else does she have to do?

The big wrap up is the fact that Tori had been waiting for a gesture from Dean. A gesture that would show how deeply he loved her and how sorry he was for betraying her trust. And for Tori, the lightbulb went off and she realized him agreeing to do the show was the grand gesture. Because he really does look so horrible --- and I don't mean just physically ---- he is shown in the worst light and every one of his demons is out there.

I actually feel sorry for the woman who he had this affair with! I'd love to see the reality show of what was going on in her life!!!

I'll miss this show.

Here's a clip of Tori gazing at a bench she'd made Dean. The thing is wobbly and she's using it as a metaphor for her marriage. Come on --- watch it ---- it's your delicious looking cookie that is sure to disappoint! ;)